Universal Rules of BDSM

The following is an excerpt from Castiel's BDSM-5 V1

Castiel holding a bundled black rope with one end wrapping thrice around their arm.

1. Never start a scene while under the influence. If drugging is part of your scene, make sure your submissive is consenting and ready. Being under the influence can make it impossible to actually consent. Receive consent from every partner involved.

2. Discuss scenes beforehand, work out details. “If I do this, you do this.” Everything needs to be discussed before it happens. This is part of consent. Never try anything new until discussing it with every partner involved. 

3. Give and receive consent throughout. It doesn’t ruin the mood, but if you’re worried about ruining the mood, work it into dirty talk! Ex. “Your ass looks so good, can I spank you?” “Can I turn you over?” “Can I touch you here” “Do you like when I ___?”

4. Always ALWAYS ALWAYS have a safeword and know it by heart. This is how you can quickly tell your partner you need to stop. Some activities are rough and may need to be stopped quickly/immediately, know your safeword. Some people use the light method: Green (all good, keep going), Yellow (slow down, readjust), Red (stop what you’re doing). Some people use a single word or set of words to identify which stage they are in. Some people use a safeword to ask their partner to check in. Some people use a combination of these. Always discuss safewords with your partner.

5. Aftercare after every scene. BDSM gets hormones and endorphins flowing, the fall-off of these chemicals can cause subdrop. It’s extremely important to bring these chemicals down slowly to avoid subdrop.

Other tips:

• Don't jump straight in, do research, don’t do anything you don’t want to do.

• Have the correct tools before entering a scene. Handcuffs? Don’t use ones that have a key OR keep the key in a secure place that you can find immediately every time. Rope? Have safety scissors on hand in case your partner needs to be relieved immediately.

• Prepare by watching porn you like! Figure out what you’re into by watching porn of it, its not the same as experiencing it, but it can give you an idea.

• Take the BDSM test, it can help give you insight to what you might be open to!